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Waking up the hamster...
Craptop BIOS v1.02.4
Copyright (C) 1998, Craptop Megacorporation

CPU: Hamster Wheel Processor @ 4MHz
Memory Test: 4096K OK

Initializing hardware...
Floppy Drive A: Not Found
Hard Disk C: Whirring loudly... OK
Checking for Joe's iPhone 4... Searching... Searching... Timed out (Too slow).

Slopping it up...